Let Them: The Two Words That Gave Me My Power Back

I was listening to one of Mel Robbins podcast episodes the other day when she said something that truly hit deep: “Let them.”

That’s it—just two words. But those two words carry the kind of weight that can change your entire emotional landscape.

If someone doesn’t invite you to the group dinner? Let them.
If a friend decides to slowly distance themselves from your life? Let them.
If your partner, parent, or sibling ignores your advice or dismisses your feelings? Let them.

This isn’t about accepting disrespect or pretending you don’t care. This is about reclaiming your peace. About realizing that other people’s actions don’t have to dictate your emotional state. And that, my friend, is real power.

What the “Let Them” Theory Really Means

At first glance, it might sound like you’re giving up. Like you’re throwing your hands in the air and deciding you don’t matter. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Letting them isn’t about giving up. It's about letting go. Letting go of the need to control how others behave. Letting go of bending and twisting yourself into shapes just to be accepted.

It's a quiet rebellion against the idea that you have to chase love, chase approval, chase peace.

You don’t.

When you adopt the “Let Them” mindset, you shift your focus from trying to fix or please others to simply honoring yourself. And yes, I know that sounds so much easier said than done. Growth always is.

Why Choosing the “Easy Way” Isn’t Actually Easy

We are creatures of comfort. We’d rather avoid conflict, smooth things over, and pretend like it’s fine—even when it’s not.
But here’s the truth: when you always choose the easy path, you’re often choosing temporary comfort over long-term peace.

If you pause for a moment and check in with your body after saying yes to something you didn’t want to do, how does it feel?
Tight chest. Heavy shoulders. That pit in your stomach.

That’s your body saying, this isn’t it.

So when we talk about “Let Them,” it won’t feel natural at first. It might feel cold, harsh, or even selfish. But with time and practice, it becomes second nature and you’ll wonder why you didn’t start sooner.

Shrinking Yourself Is Not Self-Preservation

When you constantly edit yourself to please others, you don’t just lose connection to them—you lose connection to yourself.

You start to shrink. And with that shrinking comes bitterness. Resentment. Loneliness.

You wait and hope someone will notice your pain. You hope they’ll see how much you’ve sacrificed. But as long as you’re hiding, as long as you’re playing small to avoid rejection or conflict, you fade into the background.

And here's the uncomfortable truth: at some point, it’s no longer them doing it to you. It’s you doing it to yourself.

This Isn’t Toxic Positivity—It’s Self-Respect

I’m not here to serve you some Instagrammable toxic positivity that says, “Just be positive and everything will work out!”

Life is hard. It’s messy. You will be tested. But those tests aren’t here to break you, they’re here to wake you up.

So the next time:
– Someone keeps asking for favors without ever giving back…
– Your friends leave you out and you keep pretending not to notice…
– A family member dismisses your truth over and over again…

Pause. Breathe. Say it with me: Let them.

Because their behavior doesn’t define your worth.
Because their insecurities are not yours to fix.
Because you don’t need to earn your place in someone else’s life.

You just need to take your place in your own.

Final Thoughts: Let Them Do Them. You Do You.

The “Let Them” theory isn’t about being passive—it’s about being powerful. It’s a radical act of self-respect. A decision to stop pouring your energy into people, places, and situations that don’t value your presence.

You don’t need to chase anyone. You don’t need to explain yourself a thousand times. You don’t need to lose yourself to be liked.

Let them misunderstand you.
Let them walk away.
Let them do what they need to do.

And while they do? You grow. You rest. You heal.
You come back to yourself.

Because your peace is worth protecting. Always.

When the Noise Fades and the Silence Feels Too Loud: A Story About Motherhood, Regret & Rediscovery

I’m in my 40s now.
My kids are growing—fast. Too fast, honestly.
And sometimes, when I look at them—when I hear the depth in their voices or see how easily they carry themselves—I feel this ache in my chest I can’t quite describe.

It’s the ache of knowing time passed.
That we’re no longer in the days of sticky fingers and bedtime stories.
That the little voices once calling “Mama!” from the other room now mostly say “Hang on” or “I’ve got it.”
And that I don’t remember it all as clearly as I thought I would.

I was there. I was always there.
But… was I really there?

There were so many moments I spent rushing—through bath time, meals, school drop-offs, laundry piles, to-do lists.
So many days I told myself I just needed to get through. I just needed to survive.
And somewhere in that chaos, I stopped hearing myself.
Stopped seeing myself.
Stopped being myself.

I look back now and realize—I wasn’t just losing time with my kids.
I was losing me, too.

The “Coulda Shoulda Woulda” Trap

It’s easy to go there.
To sit in the “I should’ve been more present,”
The “I could’ve said yes more,”
The “I would’ve played more, snuggled more, smiled more if I’d just known how fast it all goes.”

But here’s the thing:
We didn’t know.
Because we were in it.
We were doing our best with what we had, how we felt, and how exhausted we were.

We were surviving.

What I’ve Come to Learn

We can’t go back.
We can’t tuck our kids back into toddler beds or rewind to that chubby 5-year-old hand reaching for ours.

But we can go forward—with more awareness.
We can choose to be present now, even if the moments look different.

And they will look different.
Teenagers don’t climb into your lap.
But they sit next to you on the couch—quiet, but close.
They open up at 9:30 p.m. when you’re half-asleep.
They won’t ask you to play… but they still need you to listen.

And maybe the biggest shift is this:

It’s not just about being present for them anymore.
It’s about finally being present for you, too.

Rediscovering You Isn’t Selfish—It’s Survival, Upgraded

You’re not the same woman you were at 30 or 35.
You’ve evolved, stretched, poured, given, and held so much for others.
And now, you might be standing in your own quiet, wondering: What’s left for me?

I know the feeling.
I’ve been there.
Some days, I’m still there.

But I also know this:
You are still in there.

You can find your confidence again.
You can create new habits that actually serve you.
You can speak kindly to yourself and rewrite the way you show up for this next season.

Because this part of your life? It’s not leftovers.
It’s the main course.

You’re Not Alone—And You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If this feels like your story too—if you’re nodding your head with a lump in your throat—I want you to know something:

You’re not broken.
You’re just ready.
Ready to stop surviving and start showing up for yourself with the same love and devotion you’ve given everyone else.

That’s the work I do with women like you.
We go deep.
We rebuild your identity from the inside out.
And we make space for you to feel proud of the life you’re living—now.

If you're ready to find yourself again, I’m here.

Reach out. Let’s talk.
Let’s begin.

How Your Thoughts Shape Your Reality

As mothers, we spend years caring for our children, tending to their every need, and often placing their happiness before our own. It's a role we embrace with love, but as our kids grow older and need us less, we might find ourselves wondering, What now? The transition from full-time caregiver to rediscovering who we are can bring a flood of emotions—uncertainty, fear, and even self-doubt.

I believe that during these times, our thoughts hold immense power. I’ve noticed that when I was feeling down, overwhelmed, or lost, my external world would mirror that inner chaos. My relationships would become tense, work felt harder, and nothing seemed to go right. It was like my negative mindset was creating more negativity around me. But as I’ve learned, it doesn't have to be that way.

Your External Environment Reflects Your Inner World

The idea that our external environment is shaped by our internal thoughts might seem abstract at first, but in my experience, it’s incredibly real. Think about a time when you were stressed or anxious—didn't everything around you seem to reflect that energy? You might have found yourself more irritable, short-tempered, or even distant from the people you care about.

On the flip side, when you’re in a positive mindset, life flows more easily. You’re more patient, kinder to yourself, and more open to opportunities that may have been right in front of you all along. This shift in perspective can be a game-changer, especially for mothers whose children are getting older and finding their independence.

As moms, we’re used to being the center of our children’s lives, but what happens when they no longer need us in the same way? That’s when our inner thoughts can really start to affect how we see ourselves. Those thoughts of “I’m no longer needed” or “I don’t know what to do with myself” can create a narrative that leaves us feeling stuck, unfulfilled, and definitely lost.

Breaking the Cycle of Negative Thoughts

I remember feeling that way myself when my children started becoming more independent. I questioned my value, my purpose, and my future. But I realized that staying in that space, allowing those negative thoughts to dominate, was only going to keep me stuck. I needed to break the cycle.

If we constantly tell ourselves that we’re no longer useful, that’s exactly how we’ll see the world. Our external environment will reflect those internal beliefs. It can manifest in strained relationships, dissatisfaction with work, or even a loss of self-worth. But what if we could rewrite that story?

The Power of Positive Thinking

In my experience, one of the most transformative steps we can take is intentionally shifting our inner dialogue. Instead of focusing on what's lost—our children’s need for our constant care—we can focus on the possibilities ahead. This stage of life is not an end; it’s a new beginning.

It’s about rediscovering who we are outside of motherhood. What passions have you set aside over the years? What new interests could you explore? Have you truly been able to enjoy your being a working-mom without mom-guilt getting in the way? How can you start making yourself the center of your own story again?

I know firsthand how hard it can be to shift your mindset when you’re feeling down or uncertain, but I also know it’s possible. By focusing on thoughts of self-discovery, purpose, and growth, we can create an external reality that mirrors those positive beliefs. This is where we begin to see opportunities instead of obstacles, and where we start to embrace

The idea that our external environment is shaped by our internal thoughts might seem abstract at first, but in my experience, it’s incredibly real. I remember times when I felt completely overwhelmed—like nothing was going right. I wasn’t just battling with my own emotions; I was fighting with my friends, family, and even my partner. It felt like the universe was out to get me. But when I paused and reflected, I realized it all stemmed from my inner turmoil. My negative thoughts were creating a negative reality.

This cycle can feel never-ending. The more we focus on what’s going wrong, the more wrong things seem to happen. It’s easy to fall into that trap, thinking, “When it rains, it pours.” And the truth is, it does—because we allow it to. Our thoughts feed that storm.

Breaking the Cycle: Mindset Matters

If someone constantly holds onto negative thoughts, they’re likely to perceive their world as difficult or unwelcoming. This reinforces those beliefs and keeps them stuck. I’ve been there, and I know how hard it can be to break free. But I also know that shifting your mindset can transform not only how you feel inside, but how you experience the world around you.

For mothers whose children are getting older, this is especially important. The feelings of no longer being needed or wanted can become powerful negative thoughts. If we let these thoughts dominate, they can trap us in an environment where we feel stuck, lost, or unnecessary.

But here’s the truth: You are not stuck. You are not lost. You are still needed, and you are most certainly wanted.

This Is Your Time to Rediscover Yourself

I’ve seen it in myself and in others—when we make a conscious effort to shift our internal thoughts, we begin to see the world differently. I believe that this phase of life, where our kids are becoming more independent, is an opportunity for us to rediscover who we are outside of motherhood.

Ask yourself: What do I want from life now? Are you ready to start loving your job again? Are you ready to reignite your relationship with your partner? Most importantly, are you ready to start loving yourself?

For me, it was about learning to shift from thoughts of uncertainty and self-doubt to ones of possibility and purpose. And when I did that, I realized that this chapter of life is not about fading into the background—it’s about stepping into the spotlight.

Shifting Your Thoughts, Shaping Your Future

By intentionally shifting your inner dialogue, you can begin to shape a new chapter in your life. Think of it this way: when was the last time you were the focal point of your own story? It’s time to reconnect with the parts of yourself that may have been set aside. Maybe you have a passion that’s been waiting for attention or a dream you’ve pushed to the back burner. This is your moment to prioritize YOU.

Every day, I challenge myself to ask, “What am I thinking today?” It’s a simple question, but it’s powerful. If my thoughts are holding me back, I work to shift them—because those old, negative thought patterns are no longer welcome in my life. And if they’re holding you back, I encourage you to do the same. Kick them to the curb.

Your Journey Starts with You

This journey—rediscovering who you are beyond motherhood—starts within. Your thoughts shape your reality, so let them reflect the strong, capable woman you truly are. The best part? You’re in control of the narrative. You have the power to turn this chapter into one of growth, empowerment, and self-love.

In my experience, once we begin to rewrite our internal dialogue, the world opens up in ways we never imagined. Let your inner thoughts shape an external world that reflects the beauty, strength, and potential that’s always been within you.

From Someday to Today: How Moms Can Get Their Groove Back

How often do you find yourself saying, ‘Someday I’ll focus on me’?

Maybe it’s after the kids are older, or once things calm down, or when there’s just a little more time in the day. For years, you've been the rock of your family — taking care of everyone and everything but yourself. And while that’s an incredible gift, the truth is that it’s easy to lose yourself in the process.

So many moms fall into the ‘someday’ trap — waiting for the right moment to focus on their own dreams, passions, and well-being. But what if I told you that ‘someday’ isn’t actually coming? That the perfect time to start doing something for yourself isn’t sitting in the future, but right here, today.

Why Waiting for ‘Someday’ Keeps Us Stuck

Let’s be honest: life is always busy. There will always be something demanding your attention — whether it’s family, work, or the dozens of little things we juggle every day. The problem with ‘someday’ is that it can easily turn into never. When we keep putting ourselves on hold, we slowly lose touch with what lights us up and excites us.

It’s not selfish to say, “I matter, too.” It’s self-care. more importantly, it’s self-love and it’s necessary.

Reclaiming Yourself Today

Imagine what could happen if you crossed out ‘someday’ and embraced ‘today.’ You don’t need to wait until things are perfect to start exploring what makes you you beyond motherhood and caregiving. The moment you start taking even the smallest steps toward something you love, you’re already on your way to transformation.

• Have you always wanted to learn a new skill or hobby? Start today with 15 minutes of practice.

• Is there a passion project you’ve been dreaming about for years? Start today by writing down your first idea.

• Are you longing to reconnect with your body, mind, or spirit? Start today with one mindful moment.

No more waiting. No more hoping for the right time. You have everything you need within you to start making your dreams a reality.

How to Move from ‘Someday’ to ‘Today’

Here’s a simple truth: the only way to make change happen is to start. It doesn’t have to be huge. You don’t need a 5-year plan. All you need is to take one step, and then another. Here are a few tips for making the shift:

1. Prioritize Yourself
   Schedule time for you like it’s a non-negotiable appointment. Whether it’s 10 minutes a day or an hour a week, that time is yours to reconnect with what excites you.

2. Break It Down
   Don’t wait for the perfect moment to jump all in. Start with small, manageable steps. If you want to write a book, start with a page. If you want to get fit, start with a walk. Every action counts.

3. Shift Your Mindset
   Stop waiting for things to calm down or get easier. The ‘someday’ mindset keeps you stuck. Instead, shift to an action-oriented ‘today’ mindset, where you take ownership of your journey right now.

4. Celebrate Small Wins
   Each step you take is worth celebrating! Don’t wait until you’ve achieved some big milestone — celebrate every little victory along the way, because it’s all progress.

Today is the Day

If you’re ready to break free from the ‘someday’ cycle, then today is your day to start. Take a moment to reflect on what you’ve been putting off, and make the choice to take action now. Your dreams and passions are just as important as anything else you take care of. In fact, taking care of you is what allows you to give your best to the people you love.

So, let me ask you: what’s one thing you’ve been waiting to do that you can start today? Let’s make it happen — one step, one action, one day at a time.

What Do We Do with the Space When Our Kids Grow Older?

There’s a particular phase in motherhood that no one really prepares us for. It’s the stage where our children no longer need us the same way they did. They’re growing, becoming independent, and beginning to carve out their own space in the world. While this is a testament to the job we’ve done as mothers, it also comes with its own set of emotional challenges.

For many of us, it's not just about letting go or giving them their space—it's the realization that we suddenly have space too. Space that was once filled with the daily responsibilities of caring for them is now open, and for some, this can feel like a giant, gaping, void. The loss of being needed can leave us asking, "What do I do now?"

This question, honestly, can really be uncomfortable. After years of defining ourselves as mothers, it’s hard to remember who we were before or imagine who we can be now. But here’s the beauty of this moment: it’s a blank canvas, a chance to rediscover parts of ourselves that have been waiting in the wings.

So, what do we do with this space?

1. Embrace the Change
   Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel a sense of loss. Grieve that phase of motherhood while welcoming the opportunity for growth. This is the start of something new, and that can be both exciting and scary at the same time. Whatever you do, don’t let scared win.

2. Reconnect with Yourself
   This is your time to rediscover who you are outside of being a mother. What passions or interests have you pushed aside? Now is the perfect time to explore them. Whether it’s pursuing a hobby, investing in your health, or starting a new career, this is your time.

3. Build a New Community
   As your kids build their independence, it’s important to strengthen your connections with other women who understand this transition. Surround yourself with people who uplift and inspire you during this time.

4. Create New Rituals
   Just because your children need you differently doesn’t mean your role is over. Create new traditions and ways of bonding with your older kids. Their need for you will evolve, and you can be part of that journey in a new way.

The space left behind by our growing children isn’t empty—it’s a space waiting to be filled with new possibilities. It’s a journey of self-discovery and growth, one that many women are navigating. So let’s step into this space with curiosity, with hope, and with the belief that the best is yet to come.