When the Noise Fades and the Silence Feels Too Loud: A Story About Motherhood, Regret & Rediscovery

I’m in my 40s now.
My kids are growing—fast. Too fast, honestly.
And sometimes, when I look at them—when I hear the depth in their voices or see how easily they carry themselves—I feel this ache in my chest I can’t quite describe.

It’s the ache of knowing time passed.
That we’re no longer in the days of sticky fingers and bedtime stories.
That the little voices once calling “Mama!” from the other room now mostly say “Hang on” or “I’ve got it.”
And that I don’t remember it all as clearly as I thought I would.

I was there. I was always there.
But… was I really there?

There were so many moments I spent rushing—through bath time, meals, school drop-offs, laundry piles, to-do lists.
So many days I told myself I just needed to get through. I just needed to survive.
And somewhere in that chaos, I stopped hearing myself.
Stopped seeing myself.
Stopped being myself.

I look back now and realize—I wasn’t just losing time with my kids.
I was losing me, too.

The “Coulda Shoulda Woulda” Trap

It’s easy to go there.
To sit in the “I should’ve been more present,”
The “I could’ve said yes more,”
The “I would’ve played more, snuggled more, smiled more if I’d just known how fast it all goes.”

But here’s the thing:
We didn’t know.
Because we were in it.
We were doing our best with what we had, how we felt, and how exhausted we were.

We were surviving.

What I’ve Come to Learn

We can’t go back.
We can’t tuck our kids back into toddler beds or rewind to that chubby 5-year-old hand reaching for ours.

But we can go forward—with more awareness.
We can choose to be present now, even if the moments look different.

And they will look different.
Teenagers don’t climb into your lap.
But they sit next to you on the couch—quiet, but close.
They open up at 9:30 p.m. when you’re half-asleep.
They won’t ask you to play… but they still need you to listen.

And maybe the biggest shift is this:

It’s not just about being present for them anymore.
It’s about finally being present for you, too.

Rediscovering You Isn’t Selfish—It’s Survival, Upgraded

You’re not the same woman you were at 30 or 35.
You’ve evolved, stretched, poured, given, and held so much for others.
And now, you might be standing in your own quiet, wondering: What’s left for me?

I know the feeling.
I’ve been there.
Some days, I’m still there.

But I also know this:
You are still in there.

You can find your confidence again.
You can create new habits that actually serve you.
You can speak kindly to yourself and rewrite the way you show up for this next season.

Because this part of your life? It’s not leftovers.
It’s the main course.

You’re Not Alone—And You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If this feels like your story too—if you’re nodding your head with a lump in your throat—I want you to know something:

You’re not broken.
You’re just ready.
Ready to stop surviving and start showing up for yourself with the same love and devotion you’ve given everyone else.

That’s the work I do with women like you.
We go deep.
We rebuild your identity from the inside out.
And we make space for you to feel proud of the life you’re living—now.

If you're ready to find yourself again, I’m here.

Reach out. Let’s talk.
Let’s begin.